omg i'm so happy about how this turned out! this is the first lineless picture I've done with the drawing tablet! done 100% digitally! the only thing i don't really like is her expression; Crystal was supposed to look more angry than sad, but it didn't work out that way...oh well
and look! i drew tears that look like actual water! yay! (i'm way too happy about that
) and i did it all without any brushes (well except the basic SAI and PS ones of course)
i think this is the first bit of vent art I've posted on DA...hmmm...
there's 3 reasons i did this. the first is it's an illustration for my book Illumis, but i was it ended up being vent art. i have been quite frustrated with myself lately. i got fairly annoyed last Monday at martial arts training and it's been building up all week. you see, my legs are pretty weak and they've gotten worse as of late. I've been using them a lot more, which is why i'm starting to notice i suppose, where as last year i was more so using a wheelchair, but most of you know that already. the fact is though, i can't even stand in the school canteen line anymore without my knees feeling like they're going to buckle and my back feeling like it's going to snap (long story short, the pain in my back comes from a pair of legs i used to have that made my stomach muscles go all weird. because they're not taking weight, my spine is and that's made those muscles around my spine tighten and become sore). in Hap Ki Do (a style of martial arts) we line up to do our warm ups, which can be as short as 5 minutes or as long as half an hour, depending on the day, but even on the short days, i struggle to just get through warm ups now. on top of that i'm a bit sick of having to interrupt the class to ask the instructor what he wants me to do while they do kicks and jumps and all that stuff (they don't mind though, it's just a bit embarrassing). i want to be able to do all that but last time i tried to do a simple jump, my knee dislocated. i also can't kneel, which will make things hard when i get to higher belts and they expect you to be able to do the techniques from a kneeling position. you may think it's just a lack of fitness, but in the chair i can last a whole lot longer and i don't get anywhere near as tired as when i use my legs and no matter what i do to build up the muscles i need, nothing changes! but the most frustrating thing is, i used to be able to do all of this! and I've seen other amputees with the same amputations etc that have no problems besides minor skin irritation when it gets hot. i don't understand how all my amputee friends can get around no problem and i have all of this to put up with.
the other reason is because of something i found out about on Friday. i was having a driving lesson with dad to get my Learner hours up when he got a phone call from my nana about my cosin. she had been suffering from cancer (i never asked what type) and she'd been told that it had gone away, but on a check up X-ray, they found that the cancer tumor came back. she had some surgery done i think to take it out but it was too big and it had progressed too much for any treatment to cure. the doctor told her she only had 6 months left
. the weird thing is, i have only ever met her a few times but even though we weren't overly close, i still balled my eyes out that night once the news sunk in. she's such a wonderful person and she doesn't deserve this.
on top of all this, i'm worried about a few of my friends, both r=in real life and here (i can't help it, i'm just one of those people who worries about everyone
. also i'm kind of freaking out about my end of year 11 exams, I've done badly all year at school and this is my only chance to get my grades up before year 12. gahh! and i have a neuro-phyc test or something coming up to check that i have no measurable mental disabilities as a result of the disease that i lost my legs to. I've had one of these before when i was a kid but sometimes they can't tell until your older, so i'm freaking out about that as well because if i do...well i don't know.
so yeah, stressful times. but oddly enough, doing vent art actually helped me calm down. i was really surprised. don;t worry though, i'm not depressed or anything, i'm just a bit stressed and worried but otherwise all good